


I'll wait for you, baby

by PastelBlueDahlia



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Blow Jobs, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Come Swallowing, Coming In Pants, Coming Untouched, Confident Katsuki Yuuri, Deepthroating, Domestic Fluff, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Ice Skating, Living Together, M/M, POV Victor Nikiforov, Relationship(s), Sexual Content, Smut, Worried Victor Nikiforov, living in Russia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-17 20:56:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10602084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelBlueDahlia/pseuds/PastelBlueDahlia
Summary: There were many things Yuuri loved.Viktor just didnt know if he was one of those things.After moving in together, many things are still not cleared between Viktor and Yuuri. For example what those rings on their fingers mean. Or why Yuuri is now okay with sleeping in one bed. But their delicate realationship without clear definition soon faces Yuuris biggest enemy: his mind.





	1. Playing House

 

 

 

Viktor waited at the airport and stared impatiently at the time on his phone, absentmindedly stroking Makkachin's fur. Yuuri's plane should have arrived a couple of minutes ago.  
  
On the day before he barely slept, his mind filled with thoughts of seeing Yuuri, of touching him, of speaking face to face to him, and no bad connection or the time difference would keep their conversations short, only getting the fundamental things across. They could talk about everything, go everywhere, together. At the thought of their reunion, a wide smile spread across his face which he couldn't shake off. In the morning, Viktor was so full of anticipation that he had to let it out in some kind of way, so he tightly hugged his pillow and squealed into it. Makkachin beside him only sleepy lifted her head to see what had gotten into her owner. Viktor felt like a stupid teenager, but living apart from Yuuri was way harder than he ever thought it would be.  
  
Since Viktor choose to come back to the ice and still be Yuuri's coach, it became clear to them that Yuuri had to move to St.Petersburg. After all, it wasn't unusual for a skater to move in favor for his skating career or to follow his coach. And there was no reason not to move in together, right? It would be practical because both had the same daily routine and were already used to living together. Those were at least the rational answers Viktor came up with when he tried to explain his way of thinking to Yuuri. Fortunately, Yuuri seemed to not mind at all, placing his chin into his palm and looking kind of amused at Viktor before agreeing to their cohabitation.  
  
Viktor thought about how it would be to see Yuuri in the morning, to be with him 24/7, to see him walk around in his home, his country like he belonged there, beside him, and how much he would brighten Viktor's world. It was hard to believe that his dream would become reality in merely a couple of hours. But Viktor knew already that he didn't want to spend a single day apart from Yuuri anymore.  
  
Yuuri was his glimmer of hope that kept him going, that kept him wanting to go further, to grit his teeth through all the pain and to stand in the spotlight again, bathing in cheers and glory until he would fall exhausted into Yuuri's arms. Yuuri ignited a fire inside him that he hadn't felt in years, or ever, and let him burn until there were only smoking ashes left, which he would carefully hold in his cold hands until he was restored again, new and better than before. It was hard to tell before he met Yuuri, but Viktor was buried under expectations and boredom and loneliness and he could have sunken deeper into a swamp until there was nothing left anymore that made him a person.

But then Yuuri had stepped into his life.

Something peeked out of him, waiting to be awaken, and maybe Viktor had also longed for something like this, for Yuuri. Viktor still could hardly believe that Yuuri wanted him around. He was used to playing the charming playboy, winking and smiling in every direction, meeting and exceeding the expectations of others. It was a role he had learned to play, and with time it came to him as natural as breathing.  
  
But Yuuri didn't want that.  
  
Yuuri only wanted the real Viktor, the vulnerable and weak and genuine Viktor with flaws like a normal human, how strange it may seemed. He didn't need an idol he could adore from afar, he needed a human who could reach out his hand to him. When this realization hit him, he felt restless and unsure. And even now he asked himself it what he said and done was enough, if he was really helping Yuuri in the best way possible.  
  
Yuuri never failed to surprise Viktor, and his whole future seemed like a new, exciting adventure. He couldn't wait to begin it together with Yuuri.

 

  
As people began to stream out of the gate, Viktors heart pounded against his ribcage and nauseous feeling settled in his stomach. He stood up, and at the edge of his field of vision he could see how Makkachin rose from the floor, curiously looking at the people that passed them and wagging his tail like he knew exactly for what they were waiting. Viktor watched out for dark hair and glasses, but the only thing he saw was blond hair, brown hair and people who weren't Yuuri. He asked himself how he should greet him, with a hug or a kiss? Or would that be too much, since they didn't see each other for two months?  
  
Then he saw Yuuri.  
  
And all thoughts were drained out of Viktors mind.  
  
He pulled his trolley bag behind him, one that was much bigger than the one he used for competitions. In one hand he held his coat and let his eyes wander over the waiting crowds that now began to meet and hug their loved ones. And Viktor was that person for Yuuri, his „loved one“ in a sense, at least for a brief moment.  
Viktor felt a heavy tug on his heartstrings at the sight of Yuuri looking for him in the crowds. Then Yuuri finally spotted him, his face splitting into a big smile and then walked towards him. Viktor felt a heat rise from his neck into his cheeks, and he found himself bashfully smiling back at Yuuri, being exposed to the contradictions of the need to keep their eyes locked forever and the desire to avert his gaze. _God_ , he thought, _I really am a teenager._  
  
But the first to reach  Yuuri was Makkachin, the dog ran towards him and jumped up and down from excitement and almost knocked Yuuri over despite his old age. Yuuri immediatly dropped down on one knee and stroked the dog fondly, his laughter sounding so bubbly and happy and genuine as Makkachin licked his face, that Viktor couldn't help but also smile and laugh, even though the love of his life seemed to be more interested in his dog than in him.  
  
„Hi Viktor.“ Yuuri greeted him with a beaming, disarming smile. Viktor smiled back at him, and he felt a warm shiver running down his spine as he knelt before Yuuri to also stroke Makkachins fur. „Hi Yuuri“ he said, which left both of them giggling. Then Viktor pulled Yuuri in for a tight hug, and whispered in his ear „I missed you.“ whereupon Yuuri just signed contently and hummed in agreement.

  
When they finally got into a cab, Viktor sat in the back of the car with Yuuri while was Makkachin in the front seat, which left the grumpy old Russian man mumble something unintelligibly. At some point, they began to held hands and when Yuuri didn't let go, it left him nervous and happy. Maybe Yuuri wanted their nameless relationship to take a form, a specific name?  
  
After they paid extra for the cab ride and successfully climbed the cold staircase, Viktor pulled out his keys and let Yuuri inside. He suddenly felt insecure about his apartment. Yuuris home was packed with furniture and memories and love, and Viktros home was minimalist, bare, empty and the loneliness that he felt over the years seemed to have sunken into the cracks of the walls, like soot that blackened the very core of Viktors home, and maybe would never go away.  
  
Viktor spent the whole past day on cleaning and sorting things out, making sure that Yuuri had enough place. And he bought some necessities, like more towels and toothbrushes, and he even ordered Japanese cookbooks, even though he knew that Yuuri wouldn't need them and it was way faster to search a recipe on the internet. But it was nice to have at least some domestic, colorful books at home that he proudly could present to visitors, but especially Yuuri.  
  
To hide his nervousness, he asked Yuuri with a smile on his lips, „Tea? I bet you are pretty exhausted from your flight.“ Yuuri smiled at him, and Viktor felt his heart melt a little. „That would be great, thanks. I actually just want to take a shower and sleep.“ Viktor laughed and started to prepare tea for both of them. When Yuuri asked how Viktor got his hand on that green tea, Viktor only shrugged and smiled silently. He didn't need to know that he imported it from Japan. But the Japanese characters probably gave it away anyway.  
  
When they talked about the flight and the farewell party (apparently the triplets started skating and studied an adorable little performance), Viktor relished in Yuuris voice and presence, and felt how he gradually calmed down. He showed Yuuri the rooms and where he could put his stuff. When they went into Viktors walk-in closet, he heard a short snort coming from Yuuri and he turned around to see how Yuuris shoulders shivered from trying to suppress a laughter. „God Viktor you are so extra!“ he laughed, holding his stomach and leaning against a wall. Each time Viktor saw Yuuri laughing or smiling, he unconsciously began to smile, too. Viktor gazed at his closet, and yeah, most people didn't have such an impressive closet, but normally people would be in awe.  
„And what's with those mirrors everywhere?“ he laughed with his nose scrunched adorably. The corners of Viktors mouth began to shake and he pressed his lips together, trying to hold the laughter that was bubbling inside him from spilling. „Those are necessities.“ He tried again with a lack of determination. They looked at each other for barely two seconds before the both bursted into laughter, which had Makkachin come running to check on them both sunken down on the floor.  
  
Viktor really looked forward to them living together.

  
  
There were many things Yuuri loved.  
  
He loved to stay awake late at night to face time with Phichit or with his family.  
  
He loved to wake up at the first light of dawn, still laying in bed and lazing around.  
  
He loved to take Makkachin out for long walks on the nearby park.  
  
Viktor just didn't know if he was one of the things Yuuri loved.

  
  
He realized it when they went to sleep on the first day Yuuri arrived. It didn't seem like he wanted to sleep on the couch, but asking would maybe send the wrong signals to Yuuri. So when Yuuri came out of the bathroom Viktor already laid down, hugging Makkachin and listened closely what Yuuri would do. To his surprise Yuuri lifted the covers, slipped under them and turned off the lights. Then he wished Viktor a good night and fell asleep.  
  
While Viktor tried to calm his way to fast beating heart, he thought about the times Yuuri rejected him when he said he wanted to sleep together. And now he laid in Viktors bed like it was completely normal, an everyday occurrence. He turned to the side and looked at the back of Yuuris head, heard how he took long, calm breaths. His heart squeezed in his chest, and he thought about touching him. But it seemed he was already asleep, and maybe he didn't want to be touched in the first place. They had kissed once and even though Yuuri gave him that gold ring (which he didn't take off once in the last months), it was still Viktor who said it was an engagement ring. He had assumed that this was what he really meant. Yuuris biggest enemy and his biggest obstacle he had to overcome over and over again was his mind. Yuuri always belittled himself and thought of others too highly, especially regarding Viktor. He knew that Yuuri would sacrifice his career without a second thought when he could benefit someone he cared about. That was something he was sure of, that Yuuri cared about him. How deep these feeling went was a different matter. Viktor refused to let Yuuri keep pushing him away, when he obviously wanted him by his side. And after that they didn't really talk about what those rings meant now, after they moved in together.  
  
Viktor realized that their relationship didn't have a clear definition, everything was intertwined and fluid, no description seemed entirely right or wrong. Coach, friend, boyfriend, fiance, all these names seemed to fuse together. And maybe that wasn't that important for the moment. Yuuri was in Russia with him, and wanted to hold onto him. They had still time to figure it all out.

  
  
They spent the first three days together to put away Yuuris stuff when it finally arrived. His things amounted of some smaller boxes full of clothes and books and games, also just bare necessities.  
In the evening they went to a fancy, awfully expensive restaurant, which Viktor had bombarded with phone calls as soon as it was clear that Yuuri would come to live with him in Russia. The restaurant had a great view over the night view of St. Petersburg, the light dim and mostly coming from candles making everything seem like a classical scene in a movie. The food was incredible delicious and gorgeous, but being with Yuuri somehow reminded him of the hearty taste of the Japanese dishes he came to love in Japan. Yuuri told him everything in detail about his farewell party, and all the little thighs he forgot to tell him on the phone when they couldn't see each other. Viktor felt his gaze shift every now and then from Yuuris bright eyes to his beaming smile to his graceful long fingers where the gold ring caught the candle light. He was torn between listening to everything Yuuri said and responding like a human being and shamelessly drinking in the sight of Yuuris lively face that was dipped in mellow light, his eyes sparkling playfully as he leaned forward like he wanted to tell Viktor a secret, and then laughing in a bubbly voice.

  
When the bill came Viktor paid everything, and when he noticed Yuuris gaze on him he just smiled, purposely resting his chin on his right hand, showing off his ring. „Don't worry, that's just payback for the ring.“ he beamed across the table. Yuuri bashfully averted his gaze, a slight blush creeping up his features, turning even his ears red.  
  
Viktor found himself in such a blissful and happy state that he already couldn't imagine how he lived before Yuuri came to him. Just having Yuuri in his life was the best thing that happened to him in years.  
  
They would walk around in St. Petersburg with Makkachin, going to parks, to shopping malls („Viktor for god’s sake, stop acting like my sugar daddy.“), restaurants or just aimlessly walk around. When Yuuri excitedly pointed at something and flashed that bright smile at Viktor, he couldn't help but feel like he himself saw the city for the very first time, in a new bright light, even though he had lived there all his life.

  
  
But after the training started at the rink, Viktor began to notice some changes in Yuuris behavior.  
  
He seemed kind of uncomfortable at the new rink, he walked around lowering his head or staring at the floor and when Viktor tried to explain or show him something, he would often apologize for not listening because he got distracted. Viktor just flashed a reassuring smile at him, lightly putting a hand on his back or shoulder. But it was understandable considering that he had to get used to a new and uncommon environment with many new people. And it was surely a big shift for Yuuri, who was used to training in the little, quiet rink in Hasetsu that he could have for himself whenever he wanted, or training in Detroit where the rink was also reasonably smaller and fewer people got coached.

  
He got along well with some other Russian skaters, like Mila and Georgi who accepted him immediately and kind of took him under their wing. Despite them being only a couple years apart they seemed to love pampering him like a kid. Yurio however seemed to gradually warm up to Yuuri, or at least tried to hold back his rants when he noticed how uncomfortable Yuuri was. On the day Yuuri came to the rink, Yurio constantly flubbed his jumps, and when he managed to finally land one at the end of the day he flashed a bright smile at Yuuri, who blinked in surprise before smiling also a beaming smile in his direction, which came so unexpected that Mila and Viktor constantly teased him how even the ice tiger of Russia had fallen for Yuuri. This resulted in Yuri screaming „You're disgusting!“ before hiding his face in his hoodie and running of to the showers. He ignored Yuuri the next few days completely, which caused more teasing.  
However, the other skaters who were also training at the rink seemed to stress Yuuri out. Especially when they watched his training during a break Viktor could see the determination harden his features. The sound of the unknown Russian language crept over the ice like a curse that made Yuuris feet mess up his jumps, and made his step sequences lifeless and boring. Viktor noticed how Yuuri tried to pull himself together and restore his concentration, but it only slipped further away and made him grit his teeth in frustration. Viktor already tried to think of a way to distract him from that unproductive training day, about something to console him.  
  
But when Viktor tried to talk to him about it Yuuri just said that he would try to work harder on himself to not get distracted again. He even bowed. Viktor wanted to tell him that he didn't talk to him as a coach right now, but as a\- as a what, exactly?  
  
A couple of days after that incident when Viktor talked to Yakov about his possible new themes, Yuuri went out by himself. As Viktor opened the door to his apartment and found it empty, he felt his whole heart pound in his body. He grabbed his cellphone, searching for his number with shaky fingers to call him, but he didn't answer. He felt like he was riding a roller coaster, a nauseous feeling settled in his gut. Yuuri was alone in a big city he wasn't used to and it started to get dark. While he tried to take long breaths to calm himself down and think about where he could have gone, he got a message from Yurio. It's content was an address and the words _Hurry up. Katsudon is here._

  
Viktor practically sprinted down the stairs and tried to get a cab as fast as possible. The whole time during the cab ride he clutched his cellphone and bit on the inside of his cheek, staring at the road without seeing something. His mind was strangely blank, there was just a mix of emotions that seemed to overwhelm him.

When he arrived at the said place, he saw Yurio standing next to Yuuri and Makkachin. Yuuri hid his chin and lips in his scarf, staring at the floor and not responding to anything Yurio said to him. Makkachin slowly licked Yuuris hand in a comforting gesture. Viktor ran directly to them, spreading his arms to hug him, but Yuuri just continued to look at the floor and lightly put his fingertips against Viktors chest, like he wanted to shove him away. The feeling of relief was replaced with a sting in his heart.

  
„I'm sorry I took Makkachin with me.“ he whispered, gaze still directed at the floor. „And thank you for picking me up.“ he said while walking past him to the waiting cab. Viktor felt like he was thrown in cold water. He looked at Yurio, snapping his lips like a fish, unable to breathe, not knowing what to say. Yurio clicked his tongue in anger. „He wanted to make dinner and went out to buy some stuff, but got lost. He wanted to surprise you. Can't you even take care of your boyfriend?“ he said angrily before getting in the cab. Viktor felt nauseous again, he swallowed hard before slowly walking to the cab.  
  
During the whole ride Viktor thought about the fact that Yuuri didn't have enough faith or trust in him to call him when he was faced with a problem. Viktor wasn't his pillar. He was the person Yuuri felt he had to act strong in front of.  
  
At home Yuuri didn't look Viktor in the eyes and went straight to bed.

__

  
  
In the weeks after that incident  Viktor would often catch Yuuri curled up in a blanket on the couch, absentmindedly stroking Makkachins fur, not moving for a long time and just staring blankly at one spot. Sometimes he would turn the TV on, but because he could only understand a couple of words he would often turn in off after a couple of minutes. He didn't know what to do and how he could pull him out of this state. Yuuri looked so vulnerable that Viktor was afraid to say something wrong, to hurt Yuuri again. The conversations they had were mostly related to skating or who would cook or clean. Yuuri started to talk less and less to the other skaters at the rink, and answered in short sentences. The training got harder and harder for Yuuri, because he couldn't implement the advices Viktor gave him, but Viktor let every opportunity to say something slip because he was scared to be too blunt.  
  
Yuuri distanced himself from Viktor. He kept everything locked away from him, even his body.  
  
Viktor had this realization one time at the rink. Laughter swept across the rink, and even though they didn't laugh about him, Yuuri flubbed his jump. The impact echoed in the now quiet rink, everyone seemed to hold their breaths. Yuuri didn't get up but rolled on his back, the crook of his arm thrown over his face, covering his eyes. Viktor felt his heart squeeze with shock, and panic spread across his tongue. He skated to Yuuri, kneeling beside his head and tried to talk with him.  
  
„Yuuri are you okay? Tell me where it hurts.“ His hands hovered above him, scared to touch him. Suddenly he became aware of the loud Russian voices that asked if Yuuri was hurt, what they should do and kept talking all at once. Anger flamed inside his gut, but he tried desperately to suppress it. Instead, he screamed at them in Russian „Get a doctor!“, to which they just nodded and ran off. Yuuri let out a deep sigh, and then tried to stand. „Wait Yuuri, maybe you should wait for a doctor-“  
  
„I'm fine, Viktor, really.“ Yuuri responded. But Viktor could see how he gritted his teeth and tried to keep a neutral face, eyes staring at the ice.  
  
Viktor sighed. „Let me at least look at your leg.“ He gently grabbed Yuuris hips and turned him around to face Viktor, but when his fingertips slightly touched Yuuris inner tight he heavily shuddered, as if his hands had burned him. Viktor looked up, curious, and met Yuuris gaze. He looked down at him, teeth gritted and a shocked expression on his face. Yuuri opened his mouth, but no words would come out. Then the door of the rink opened and a doctor accompanied by some other skaters entered the rink.  
  
„I'll get a check-up, don't worry.“ he said and skated carefully away. Viktor could only follow Yuuri with his eyes.  
  
Thankfully Yuuri wasn't hurt badly and only suffered from a bruise that wouldn't make any impact on Yuuris skating. When Viktor heard that Yuuri was fine he let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. That evening, Viktor just wanted some time to think about the last couple of weeks. Usually he would take a walk witch Makkachin and go to the park, sit on a bench and let the thoughts flood his mind. On this particular bench he would often think about performances, memories or his future. Now he just wanted some kind of consolation.  
  
But when he saw how Yuuri was snuggled into Makkachins fur and how cozy he looked he couldn't bring himself to take that away from him.  
  
„Yuuri, I'll take a walk, so you can go to bed without me.“ he said while putting on his jacket. Yuuri looked him into the eyes, opened his mouth as if to say something but changed his mind. Viktor thought about how often something like this has happened in the past weeks. Since when couldn't they talk anymore?  
„Okay, take care.“ he said meaninglessly and smiling a constrained smile at him that hurt to watch, and Viktor smiled at him like he would at an unknown interviewer.  
  
The cold air hit him in full force when he stepped outside. In a completely dazed state he walked to the park, mind completely blank. He felt as if he would suffocate.  
  
The park was thankfully deserted. His eyes wandered from the leafless, tall trees to the frozen little pond. The few streetlights made the park probably one of the rare spots in St. Petersburg that was not fully lit up. Viktor knew that he had to be careful, but the park was the only place where he could see the stars, their light not being swallowed up from the light of the city. And it was quiet there. So quiet that Viktors imagination would run wild when he sat on this bench. How often did he think about Yuuri on that bench, how he missed him, full of anticipation. How ironically it was that he sat there again, also because of Yuuri.  
  
Viktor knew Yuuri. Through the months they spent together at Hasetsu, and through the months they lived apart he slowly discovered Yuuri Katsuki, tried to carefully unfold each of his layers, wanting to know everything about him.  
Viktor just wanted to give Yuuri security, to be his pillar when he lost himself in self-doubt. But maybe Viktor acted too conceited to see what Yuuri really needed. Had Viktor actually tried to help him or did he just get out of his way, using the excuse of trying not to hurt him again? Was he only protecting his own heart? Viktor gritted his teeth.  
Maybe he should have been more persistent. But he was so incredible afraid that Yuuri would push him away again. Sometimes he felt for every two steps he got closer to Yuuri, he was pushed three back. Maybe the reason why he pushed Viktor away was because he noticed his feelings? He was always obvious with his feelings towards Yuuri, but only in the last couple of months he seemed to understand that he cared about him more than just a friend or coach. Yuuri always thought of Viktor first, he had proven this in Barcelona. Maybe Yuuri thought it would be cruel to expect more from him, for him to be his emotional support when he already pushed him away.  
  
But Viktor would gladly give everything to Yuuri. Even if Yuuri didn't love him, he still wanted to be by his side. It would hurt. But Yuuri was his inspiration, the reason why he wanted to keep skating, and without him everything would go back to insignificance.  
  
He knew that he had to be patient. That was one of the first things he learned during his stay in Hasetsu. Never push Yuuri. Let him know that you will listen, that you are here, then he will talk about himself when he is ready.  
But he felt that this way of thinking would only lead them to distance themselves. Viktor couldn't wait for Yuuri to sort things out for himself, he wanted to help him. He thought of the time in Barcelona, how Yuuri wanted to let him go. He couldn wait until Yuuri came up with the same conclusion again.  
  
Viktor knew it was hard for Yuuri to suddenly leave his old, familiar life. His whole future plans changed within just one year, and of course that would be overwhelming. There was a new home, a new rink, new people and a foreign country and language, and only a handful of people he could talk with. Viktor heart squeezed at the thought how lonely Yuuri must feel.  
  
What could he do so that Yuuri found confidence again in himself and his skating? What helped himself in those times?  
  
There was only one thing he could think of. He pulled out his cellphone to make a call.

 

 

 

I will upload the next chapter in a couple of days, where they will finally talk (and there will be smut)

The story is inspired by the song "I know you" from Skylar Grey

If you have any criticism, feel free to tell me!

 


	2. I'll show you things you don't know

When Viktor opened the door to his apartment, he was greeted by complete darkness and quietness. His heart squeezed at the thought that this was how he used to live. Before Yuuri.  
  
He tried to keep as quiet as possible, changed his clothes and went to bed.  
  
Yuuri laid there, hugging Makkachin tightly with one arm, his breathing calm and steady. Viktor smiled at that sight, and slowly went to the bed to take Yuuri's glasses off. Then he slipped under the covers, his face directed at Yuuri who was hidden behind the enormous fluff that was Makkachin. Viktor stroked his fur slowly, trying to neither wake the dog nor Yuuri.  
  
He thought about his plan. He just hoped it would work out how he envisioned it. Viktor didn't really have any coping mechanisms like Yuuri or calming routines when the stress or angst hit him in full force. Sometimes he was rather surrounded by people, because even a fake smile could turn into a genuine one, even if it was just for a while. Yuuri on the contrary would want to be alone, think thoroughly about everything and don't talk about it, and only the presence of Makkachin was allowed in those moments. Even though they shared their "not wanting to talk about it"-habit, Viktor knew that Yuuris overthinking and pessimism would only spiral him deeper into an abyss where he couldn't climb out by himself, solely because he dragged himself further down. Viktor hoped that he could be the second presence Yuuri allowed in those moments, that he could be the one that calmed him down and extended a helping hand which Yuuri would, _hopefully_ , take.  
  
Lost in his thoughts, he accidentally brushed Yuuris fingers, and the feeling of his warm skin made a shiver run down Viktors spine and he slowly pulled his hand away and laid it beside his head. Then he turned to the other side, Makkachin radiating a welcoming warmth in his back, and Yuuris close presence painfully clear and sharp in his mind. Before falling into a deep sleep, he thought _I need to stop acting like a teenager._

 

  
  
On the next day, Viktor woke up even before his alarm started ringing. He was always a morning person and a light sleeper, so it was normal for him to wake up especially early when something was on his mind. He stretched a little and turned to look at Yuuri. A smile split his face, before it was replaced with a worried expression, his brows furrowed and biting on his bottom lip. His idea seemed really good the day before, but would it so easily fix everything that went wrong between them? Would Yuuri actually want to spend his time with him? Viktor suddenly saw all the flaws in his plan, and he cursed himself for what most people (especially Yakov) had pointed out to him again and again: that he was quick to make decisions without thinking them through. That he was too impulsive. But because in the end everything went well, he didn't mind. Until now. Now was one of those moments he should have put more thought into it.  
  
He sighed and leaned to his nightstand to grab his phone. He opened a text and smiled fondly. It would be a waste to discard the kindness that was shown to him. Viktor was determined to get Yuuri to agree and he was more than ready to convince him with the best arguments he had in store, delivered with the best actor skills he had learned and improved over the years. Now he just had to think of some, and the best place for thinking was always his shower.  
  
Viktor sighed in delight as he let the warm water run down and heat up his muscles. Then he was crushed from the thoughts about what would happen if Yuuri didn't agree and how he didn't have a plan B, and smiling while shampooing his hair, thinking of the possibility that he could reach Yuuri, that he could help him. Before he stepped out of the shower and into the bedroom, he sent a silent prayer to the gods that everything would go well and that there still was something between them that was able to be saved, that Yuuri hadn't become completely unapproachable.  
  
When he stepped inside the bedroom, Yuuris alarm began to ring. Viktor couldn't help but notice how pretty Yuuri looked right after waking up, and he thought how unfair that was: he barely looked human before his morning shower. The sight before him, how Yuuri laid there with his huge dog and how streams of light gently lit up the room and drew patterns on the sheets made him want to climb into bed again and shower Yuuri in the warm feeling in his chest that began to spread up into his fingertips. Viktor shortly thought about how Yuuri would react if he just crossed those couple of meters and began to place light pecks on every visible piece of skin, but he quickly decided against it. Even he could see how random and impulsive that would be, and Yuuri would probably shy away from him. Also, _hold your horses teenage Viktor._  
  
Yuuri lazily extended one arm to reach the nightstand and turn the alarm off, but Makkachin already pounced on him and began licking Yuuris face, which made Yuuri giggle and squirm under the large dog. Viktor realized he had the same idea like his dog. But he just smiled softly at them.  
  
„Good morning you two.“ he said, still smiling genuine at Yuuri, eyes soft and radiating warmth. Yuuri stopped in his motion, his smile faltered „Good morning.“ he answered, still smiling but not as bright as before, and Viktor felt his heart twinge.  
  
Viktor turned to walk into his closet and searched for clothes. While putting them on he said in a loud voice, so Yuuri would understand him: „Yuuri, lets take the day of.“ he tried to sound casual, but his voice sounded wrong and too cheerful in his own ears. His heart began to pick up speed as Yuuri didn't answer. Instead, he heard movement from the bed, a faint rustle from the moving sheets.  
  
„Why?“ Yuuri asked, his voice sounding skeptical and Viktor could practically hear the furrow of his brows.  
  
Viktor took a deep, silent breath before sticking his head out of the closet and saying in an emphasized cheerful voice: „We've been working non-stop on your jumps, so I thought that today would be a good day to actually work on your theme and your routines.“ Yuuri blinked, something that seemed like surprise took over his features. Viktor walked a couple of steps towards Yuuri, still trying to hide his nervousness and keeping his facade in place. „I mean, we still have more than enough time, but maybe you want your music to be composed and that might take a while. Plus, it's never a bad idea to think about something like this a little early.“  
  
Yuuri blinked again, his expression unreadable. Then he said in a casual voice „Sure.“  
  
Viktor felt the tension immediately leaving his body, and a genunine smile tucked at the corners of his mouth. „So, uh, I already thought about some things and themes, and maybe you could help me?“ Yuuri asked, his eyes darting from one place to another but never reaching Viktor, his voice sounding unsure, like he thought he was asking for too much. „S-since you always create your own stories when you skate, and I wanted to try that too… But you don't have to.“ he said, wringing his hands in his lap in a nervous gesture. Viktor said with a warmth and fondness in his voice that even surprised himself „I'd love to.“  
  
Seeing Yuuris face split into a relieved smile was even more than he had hoped for.

  
This certainly wasn't what he had envisioned.  
  
He thought that Yuuri would want to work alone on his routines and wouldn't want any help or insight. Viktor had heard of skaters who would struggle with their inspiration, not knowing what they wanted to perform, but also didn't want to bother anyone. Viktor was pretty certain that Yuuri was one of those types.  
  
Instead, both of them sat together on the kitchen table over various notes, rearranging themes, music, jumps and step sequences into different orders, until they had several drafts about what Yuuris next season should be about.  
  
Viktor felt as if nothing had changed between them, or rather, as if they've gone back in time. Every now and then Viktor glanced at Yuuri, how carefully he took everything into consideration and how relaxed and normal he looked. It felt as if he hadn't really looked at this kind of Yuuri in a long time, and his throath got tight.  
  
Viktor got so caught up with planning all these new routines, all these stories that just waited to be told on the ice, when he was startled by the sound of his alarm. For a split-second he thought about canceling his plan. Maybe they would be able to talk like this, maybe when Yuuri was so relaxed he could go to the bottom of his feelings and reach him. But somewhere, in the back of his mind, a voice said that this wouldn't be enough. That a little conversation between a student and coach wouldn't fix their broken bond of whatever relationship they had.  
  
Viktor stood up and stretched his arms, a small sigh leaving his lips. Then he turned to Yuuri and said „Let's go to the rink.“  
  
Yuuri looked up at him, holding a note in his hand. His brows furrowed. „Viktor, I think the rink is closed, it's pretty late.“  
  
Viktor flashed a smile at him and winked. „Yeah, but now that we worked on your routines I want to try them out.“ Actually that wasn't a lie. And it would be even better if he could bring Yuuri like that to the rink. „Trust me, the rink will be open.“  
  
He seemed to consider what Viktor said, and then he slowly nodded in agreement. Viktor beamed at him and went to grab the bag he had prepared last night. „You don't have to bring anything, I already packed everything.“ he smiled.  
  


  
  
After that they walked the short distance to the rink in silence. Viktor noticed how Yuuri was lost in his thoughts, like so often, but he wouldn't lower his head and the silence between them was not crushing or heavy, it was kind of comfortable. Viktor hoped that this wasn't just his imagination.  
  
When they arrived at the rink, the old caretaker Viktor had known since he started training at the rink walked towards them. He smiled brightly at him and handed him the keys of the rink. „Vitya, I know you better than any other skater here, but if you get caught Yakov will fire me personally.“ then his gaze wandered of to Yuuri who just stood there awkwardly, not able to follow the conversation. He greeted him with a simple „Hello“ with a thick Russian accent, before turning to Viktor again and saying in Russian: „But I understand. It's not unusual for two lovebirds wanting to 'practice' alone.“ He smiled sly, and Viktor felt his face and ears heat up under his innuendos. He coughed and prayed that Yuuri wouldn't get a drift of their conversation, or even recognize that something was off with the tone of the caretaker.  
  
„Vanya, we are not like that, we wouldn't do-“ then the loud laugh of the caretaker interrupted him. „My, I've never seen you this flustered before Vitya.“ then he smiled softly at him. „That's good. I think the world deserves to see this Viktor.“ Viktor felt his heart throb and a smile began to split his face.  
  
Then he remembered that he still had something in his bag that was determined to get to his benefactor. „I brought you a gift...“ he said, and pulled out a bottle of the favorite vodka of the older Russian. He just put a hand to his heart and made a fake shocked, yet also relieved expression. He thanked Viktor and then turned to Yuuri, saying „Have fun.“, and Yuuri just smiled brightly back at him.  
  
As they went through the empty and dim lighted corridors, Viktor noticed how long it has been since he was alone at the rink and saw it so empty. It was calming, but back then it was also lonely.  
  
When they reached the locker room, Viktor put the heavy bag down at one bench, and then turned around to look at Yuuri. He just gazed at him with a faint, amused smile.  
  
„So, are you finally going to tell me why you bribed Vanya with vodka to come here practically in the middle of the night?“ he said, his smile widened. Viktor smiled back at him but he felt nervousness rise in the pit of his stomach.  
  
„I thought...“ he started, not knowing how to end the sentence. Suddenly Viktor was hit by the realization that he hadn't thought about what he would say to Yuuri. Get Yuuri to the rink was the only thing he had in mind the whole time, and after that was finished he was too distracted with the possible new routines for Yuuris skating. How could he forget that? That was the most crucial part. Yuuri shouldn't think that Viktor saw him as weak or belittled him, he told him back in Hasetsu how afraid he was to be seen as weak. Viktor averted his gaze and bit his lip, he started to massage his neck in a nervous gesture. He took a deep breath before he spoke again.  
  
„I just thought that you was really stressed in the past weeks, and that you were probably homesick. And I'm truly sorry that I didn't try to help you, really Yuuri. But, now I thought that I wanted to recreate the rink at Hasetsu, because you always train when something is on your mind, but here it's hard to do because its always full of people and you can't speak Russian and…“ Viktor felt how blood rushed into his cheeks and ears.  
  
The room was suddenly filled with an uncomfortable silence, and everything that Viktor could think of was _crap, I messed up, I shouldn't have brought him here, I should have just spoken to him, I should have thought about what I to say, I should have googled how to calm somebody down. I should have-_  
  
By the sound of  Yuuri giggling he looked up, his own face so genuine surprised that he immediately tried to cover that expression of himself up.  
  
„So you wanted to distract me?“ he asked, and his voice and eyes were so soft and had a fondness in them that had his heart melting, or rather burning. He could only nod. Yuuris smile got even a little wider and he pointed at the bag, asking with a still incredibly soft voice, like he was talking to a lost kid „What else did you bring with you?“

Viktor smiled bashfully at him and zipped the bag open. „Like I said, I wanted to recreate the time in Hasetsu, so I took your costumes from last season with me, and-“ he stopped and pulled a pink top out, his heart beating fast as he held it up to show it clearly.  
  
„And our exhibition skate.“ he added and smiled softly at Yuuri.  
  
And he was more than glad when Yuuri smiled back at him.

 

  
  
Viktor didn't know how long they spent on the ice skating in their old costumes to music from Viktors cellphone as they plugged it in the speakers. The rink with its wide, open windows let the world outside look completely back, and it felt as if only the rink and both of them existed.  
  
Yuuri skated some of his old routines from junior days, solely based on muscle memory, and mixed in some jumps and elements from other routines. Of course Viktor recognized all his routines, he had binge watched them as they lived apart, but he never told Yuuri because he thought that it would be embarrassing for him. Viktor was struck by how gorgeous Yuuri looked. His movements were relaxed, graceful and his expression calm, and completely withdrawn into himself. Viktor thought that Yuuri wouldn't skate any differently if he were alone, and that made Viktors heart warm up. Yuuri could relax with him and didn't have to think about anything.  
  
Then Viktor skated some of his old routines, which Yuuri could all reconize and name together with the costume he wore, in which year and the music he choose back then. Yuuris laugh resonated in the empty rink and in Viktor himself, as he told him that the moves were all wrong. Viktor had to confess that he mostly forgot his old routines, for which he received a dirty look from Yuuri. However, that didn't stop Yuuri from begging Viktor to skate the routine from when Viktor still fit in the Eros costume, the one Yuuri was now wearing.  
  
When one of them was exhausted they switched with skating and the other one stood by the rink barrier and cheered loudly or stayed silent and watched in awe how the other body glided over the ice. Mostly it was Viktor who had to rest because Yuuris stamina was still way above his own level, and partly because he couldn't take his eyes of Yuuri when he skated so perfectly relaxed, the Yuuri he knew and loved glowing on the ice, and it made Viktor fall in love all over again.  
  
Sometimes they skated together, moving effortlessly hand in hand and lifting the other, which resulted in casual touching. Feeling Yuuris firm body twist and turn under his palm, and being allowed to touch him so freely made Viktor smile uncontrollably. But he was a little too distracted from touching Yuuri, so that they often stumbled or fell on the ice. But it didn't matter. Yuuri seemed to enjoy every second, he was giggling and beaming at him, and Viktor felt a tug on his heartstrings that made it hard to breathe.  
  
When they both laid on the ice, sunken together from laughter, Viktor decided it was a good time to pop the bottle of vodka he kept in his bag. When Viktor came out of the locker room with the bottle in his hands and a shy smile on his lips, Yuuri grinned.  
  
They sat down on a bench and Yuuri took the first sip.  
  
„I'm impressed, you didn't even scrunch your nose.“ he teased. Yuuri smiled at him and said in a playful voice „Viktor, how many glasses of champagne did I drink again at the banquet?“ Viktor laughed. „I think this would be more fun if you got easier drunk.“ he laughed and thought back at the Yuuri at the banquet, how adorable he clung to him and asked if he could become his coach. He reached out to the bottle to take a sip, but Yuuri didn't let go. Instead, his fingers brushed lightly against Viktors. He slowly moved closer to Viktor, leaning forward with a half-lidded gaze and a smug grin splitting his features, and Viktors breath caught in his chest because he looked so gorgeous and was so incredible close.  
  
„Are you saying that you don't have fun now?“ he teased in a low voice, and it drove Viktor crazy. He felt a tug on his heartstrings and blood rushing into his head, and at the same time in the opposite direction. Viktor opened his mouth, but he didn't know what to respond. His gaze shifted to Yuuris smirking lips, and he expected them to tell him what had gotten into Yuuri.  
  
Suddenly, Yuuri stood up, filled with a new kind of determination as he looked down at Viktor, smiling brightly as if the last couple of seconds only happened in Viktors mind. _Fuck._  
  
„I think I'm inspired! Turn the music on!“ he said and glided to the center of the ice. Viktor tried to calm his breathing. Just because Yuuri made some allusions it didn't mean anything, it was even more likely that he made them unconscious. Viktor had witnessed first hand how oblivious Yuuri could be. Yuuris low self-esteem often led to Yuuri missing things or not recognizing them as they were meant: Viktor saw the reactions of others when Yuuri skated. They were awe struck, they were captivated. And still Yuuri would call himself a dime-a-dozen skater. Also, he missed all those hungry and lustful eyes that were laid on him, and Viktor often had to step between a fan and Yuuri when the other got too touchy. Not to mention the time Yuuri grind on Viktor in public, and looking up at him with the innocent face of a child, not believing that he ever could do something wrong.  
  
Viktor covered his mouth to hide the smile that was forming on his face. Seeing that Yuuri again would definitely be worth a watch. Then he looked through his phone, and a sly grin split his face. That would surprise him.  
  
When the first tones of Toxic began to play he turned around to Yuuri, but he was already caught up in a routine, his smile bright and moving his lips with the lyrics, mimicking the furrowed brows and the breathless pronunciation. Viktor couldn't take his eyes of him. It certainly didn't look spontaneous, and Viktor could see here and there a movement from another routine. And even though it had some similarities with the Eros routine, it was less serious and he seemed to have more control of his charms, Yuuris hips swaying more, his expression passionate. This side of Yuuri took Viktor completely by surprise.  
  
„Yuuri, you own me an apology! Someone who claims Eros is too much skates such a routine?“ he said with a fake pout as Yuuri skated towards him, laughing. „Do you think we could use this as a new routine?“ he asked, trying to keep his face straight and his tone serious, tapping a long finger against his lips.  
  
„Then Phichit would be my choreographer.“ he laughed, leaning his forearms against the rink barrier.  
  
„Phichit?“  
  
Yuuri nodded. „We used to skate to some songs in Detroit when the rink was empty and somehow it developed in routines to different songs. It Detroit were fewer people, and everyone did that to their favorite songs, and Phichit convinced me to do it too.“  
  
Viktor leaned forward and lowered his voice to a sugary sweet tone. „To what songs did you skate besides Toxic?“ Yuuri also leaned a little more forward, and it made Viktors breath hitch in his chest. „Everything from Britney Spears and the Pussy Cat dolls. And Milkshake, Pony, Wannabe...“ he said, his long dark lashes casting shadows on his face and his voice so warm and low it send a warm shiver down Viktors spine.  
  
„I see a trend… except for the last one.“  
  
Yuuri chuckled. „Sometimes you have to switch things up a bit.“ he responded. Viktor gulped as he felt his heart beat in his throat. They were so close that it would only take a little push to close the distance between them, less than a second and Viktor would feel that smirk on his lips. Instead, he pulled away and looked to the bench where they were previously sitting.  
  
„We should finish the bottle, we don't want to let it go to waste, right?“

 

 

 

 

 

I decided to write 3 chapters now because I realized how long he second chapter would have been, but I will probably upload it tomorrow because I just have to edit it

I hope you enjoyed the chapter at least a little bit

 


	3. Chapter 3

After they took turns in drinking and shockingly realised how fast the bottle got empty, they broke out in loud laughter and giggling, which they couldn't stop for a long time and Yuuris head slumped powerless against Viktors shoulder for a couple of seconds as they tried to catch their breaths. Then they stumbled on the ice, still laughing and falling way more than it was appropriate for two world-class figure skaters, but they just couldn't bring themselves to care.

They weren't drunk. At least not really. It was more a pleasant, warm buzzing feeling in their bodies.

When they tried to skate their exhibition skate, Viktor was too distracted by the way Yuuris lean muscles moved under the dark fabric to realize that he should actually lift Yuuri up, and suddenly they laid on the ice. As Viktor stared at the ceiling and tried to understand what had happened Yuuris head plopped into his field of vision, and he suddenly understood that the weight that pressed him into the ice was Yuuri. He looked worried, his brows furrowed, and tugged a strand of hair with tender fingers behind Viktors ear. Suddenly a smile appeared on Yuuris face that slowly got wider, and after a short snort from Viktor Yuuri rolled of him and they both laughed until they had tears in the corners of their eyes and their stomachs hurt.

After they had calmed down they both looked at the ceiling, still laying on the ice. Yuuris hand was so close to Viktors that he felt the heat radiating from him. It was a calming feeling to have somebody next to him after he fell, even as the cold bit merciless into his back.

„I used to come to the rink alone at night when I was younger, just practicing my jumps or my routines. But I never had so much fun before.“ he said to Yuuri, turning his face to look at him. Yuuri smiled at him, his eyes softly gleaming, his chest raising and lowering fast from exhaustion. Then they turned away to look at the ceiling again, still close but not touching. Both gasping in the peaceful silence.

„You know“ Yuuri said. Viktor turned to look at him, but Yuuri furrowed his brows and bit on his lower lip, like he weighed every word he would say, not looking at Vikor. „I'm sorry about the last weeks. I know you just want to help, but I hate being a burden to anyone, and especially to you.“ he let out a shaky breath. „And I'm around you all the time and you do so much for me already, that's why I don't want you having to keep track of my mental state or my insecurities. I will get used to St Petersburg and the people here, so you don't have to worry.“ he said, turning to finally look at Viktors face. The artificial smile on Yuuris face made Viktors heart twinge in pain and anger.

He sat up to look at Yuuri. „Yuuri, you're not a burden. I never once thought something like that since I met you.“ he said with determination and even a little anger in his voice, something so unusual for him. „And what are you apologizing for? I'm your coach, your- your friend, its only natural that you are important to me and that I care about you.“ Yuuri finally looked at him, hesitant and brows furrowed, like he didn't know what to think anymore.

Then he added softer, his voice fragile. „In fact, I should have done something sooner, and I'm sorry.“ Yuuri opened his mouth to say something, but Viktor just put his hand up to silence him. „The only thing I want is that you talk to me. About little things, or big things, just talk to me and don't bottle everything inside you where I can't reach you. I can't stand next to you and pretend not to notice how you begin to crumble and fall apart.“ he said desperately and Yuuri pressed his lips together and stared Viktor in the eyes.

„ _Please_.“ Viktor plead, and he noticed how weak and vulnerable his voice sounded, like all the frustration he had felt over the past weeks escaped in that one word.

Yuuri looked at him, somewhat shocked but with soft eyes, and Viktor withheld his gaze. Yuuri nodded, slowly at first ad then with determination. He sat up and slung his arms around Viktors back and pressed him firmly against his chest, buried his nose in the crook of Viktors neck. „Okay.“ he said, his voice breathy and Viktor felt Yuuris tears dripping fast and hot on his costume. Viktor smiled relieved and let out a sigh. He wrapped his arms around Yuuri, burying his face in Yuuris shivering shoulder. Viktor felt his legs going numb from the cold, but he didn't care, he just wanted to hold Yuuri as close as possible, forever.

But then Yuuri pulled away, a hesitant smile on his lips, his face red from crying. „This is maybe not the best timing, but I thought of a routine.“ Viktor smiled softly at him, wiping on his now dry cheeks. „There's never a wrong timing for skating. I'd love to see the routine.“ Yuuris eyes got soft and a slight smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

„Don't expect anything too impressive.“ he warned, and Viktor pouted and flicked his forehead lightly. Yuuris eyes widened in shock, and then he snorted.

Viktor skated to the rink barrier and got off the ice, then he held his thumb up and send a reassuring smile at Yuuri. He skated into the center of the rink, taking in a start position.

He skated without music, but Yuuri always seemed to make music with his body, his moves sometimes soft and tender and other times passionate. His movements reminded him of Yuuris short and free program, but there was something new, something that Viktor couldn't describe at first. Yuuri smiled and looked absolutely stunning. His whole expression and movements were so lively, he was brimming over with life, and he looked like he had so much fun as he poured his emotions on the ice. When the routine ended, the scraping of Yuuris skates on the ice echoed in the rink as he took in his ending position. Viktor felt how his eyes got wet, and he quickly blinked the tears away. Yuuris gaze was full of happiness. He looked like a kid that managed to ride a bike or do a handstand for the first time.

Viktor couldn't help but smile back at him.

Yuuri skated in a fast pace towards him, and with a sharp scraping of his skates he stood before Viktor. With a quick movement Yuuri pulled Viktor on his collar towards him, until hot, soft lips collided with his own.

Viktor forgot how to breath.

He even forgot to close his eyes.

Then Yuuri pulled away, raising his eyebrows and waiting for Viktors reaction, still panting hard from his skating. Viktor opened his mouth to say something, but his mind was completely blank. The kiss wasn't impressive. It was sweet and fast, but the fact that _Yuuri Katsuki_ had kissed him, _kissed him_ , was overwhelming and Viktor couldn't comprehend anything. Blood rushed in his ears and in his cheeks, and his heart pounded painfully hard against his ribcage.

„Viktor?“ Yuuri asked, his brows furrowed, and cupped Viktors face with one hand. Viktor flinched at the contact. „Are you alright?“

„Uh, yeah, I just- just assumed that you...“ he stuttered, and Yuuri curiously raised one eyebrow. Viktor let out a deep sigh and folded his hands above his mouth and nose and closed his eyes. „I thought you didn't see me that way. I-I thought you see me as a couch or maybe a friend, but nothing beyond that.“ he finally managed to say. When he opened his eyes again Yuuri looked at him with a bewildered expression.

„That doesn't make sense?“ Yuuri said, and they both stared at each other. „I-I mean we slept in the same bed?“ Yuuri continued, not less confused.

„I thought it was more convenient? And that you would tell me if you wanted your own.“

„We kissed. Twice now. And all the hugging and touching- what did you think that was?“ he asked, and Viktor could see how hurt Yuuri was. He gulped.

„I thought… that you maybe didn't want to kiss me back then. Because I just did it, but now I know because you-“ Viktor gulped again, cutting himself off. „And the other things… I thought you got used to touching and just played along.“

„Viktor, I bought you a ring! A wedding ring!“ Yuuri said angrily, stretching his right hand out and pointing at the shimmering ring with his left.

„But despite the ring you still wanted me to quit being your coach.“ He said quietly, but when the words left his mouth he realized how wrong they were. They had talked about it, and he understood why Yuuri acted that way in the past. Viktor bit his lip, already thinking of an apology.

But to his surprise Yuuri just said „I know.“ and looked down at his skates. Then he looked up, and his eyes were desperate yet determined. „But me coming here… doesn't that mean that I want to be together with you? I don't want you to be my friend or coach. And I know I have to learn to be more honest with myself, but please believe me. This is what I want. _You_ are what I want.“ Yuuri said, and a light blush tinted his cheeks.

Viktor felt a heavy tug on his heartstrings, and a whimper left is lips as his throat painfully closed up. „So...“ he said with a faint voice. Yuuri smiled at him softly, his eyes warm and reached for Viktors face to slowly pull him closer.

„I love you, Viktor.“ he said in a low voice, brown eyes staring in blue, and then there were his lips again, plump and hot against his own. Viktor reveled in the feeling of finally having Yuuri, of touching him and in the feeling of his racing heart. He put his hands at Yuuris back, trying to pull him closer, to feel him more, but the barrier separated them effortlessly.

Suddenly Yuuri licked into Viktors mouth, and he flinched at the unknown touch from Yuuri. He could feel the grin on Yuuris lips as he hungrily kissed him, fighting for dominance Viktor didn't mind to give in to. Viktors mind was so blank, he only wanted to touch Yuuris whole body, feel him squirm under his palm, feel the lean muscles in that tight costume. Viktor wondered how far Yuuri would let him go, where was it alright to touch and where not? Where was Yuuris limit? Viktor definitely wanted to find out.

So he slid his hand to Yuuris neck, feeling the tender skin damp and shivering under his touch, and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. Then he slowly let the hand that was previously placed on Yuuris back wander lower, until he reached Yuuris ass and gave it a tight squeeze. Yuuri twitched and moaned at the unexpected touch. He pulled away from Viktors lips, his cheeks flushed and eyes dark, and then he claimed Viktors lips again, aggressively bit his lip which send a shiver down Viktors spine and a tension began to build in the pit of his stomach. Yuuris hands wandered to Viktors chest, his hands slipping under Viktors top through his low neckline. He barely touched him, but the feel of Yuuris cold fingertips made him want more, he wanted to press himself against Yuuri until their breaths would fuse together.

Suddenly Yuuri drew his lips back. They were only separated by a couple of centimeters, and Yuuri panted hard against Viktors lips, his eyes dark with lust. He pointed wordless to a bench, and Viktor understood. As soon as there was no barrier between them anymore, they began kissing roughly again, Yuuri clutching his hands into the strands of Viktors hair, and Viktor reveled in the feeling of finally pressing Yuuris body to his own. Yuuri moved forward and Viktor backwards like they were dancing. Then Viktor felt something in the back of his knees and Yuuris hands firmly pressed him down on his shoulders, until he sat down at the bench. Yuuri grinned at him from above and then straddled Viktor legs. He gulped.

„Yuuri, maybe we should-“ then he was cut off from Yuuris kiss and he felt his heart melt. Yuuri pulled away to smile at him, his lips cherry red and a blush creeping up his cheeks. Viktor thought that he never looked more beautiful. Yuuri brought his hand to Viktors, intertwined them, and brought their hands to his mouth to kiss Viktors knuckles without breaking eye contact. Viktor felt a throb of desire in his groin, and he bit his lip. Then he began kissing Viktor again, rough and hot, his fingers clutched tightly into his hair. Viktor hissed at the pain but also welcomed it, he hoped this would at least help him restrain himself a little before he lost himself completely in Yuuri. He just wanted a little more. He knew when to stop.

He put his hands on Yuuris waist and hip, feeling the firm muscles under his touch. Viktor kissed Yuuris neck, sucking and biting love bites into the delicate flesh and drawing soft moans out of Yuuri that had Viktor grinning into his skin. Yuuris legs began to shiver, and Viktor let his hands roam over them.

„Viktor...“ Yuuri moaned, and Viktor smiled as he placed a kiss on Yuuris neck. Then, when Yuuri unexpectedly rolled his hips, a loud moan escaped Viktors lips. Viktor repressed the urge to cover his mouth.

Yuuri looked at him with wide eyes, like he couldn't believe that such a sound came from Viktor, but then a smug grin appeared on his face. Viktor turned his gaze away and tried to calm his lower regions. Then he felt hands slid under his top. Viktors breath hitched and he felt how his heart started pounding painfully in his chest. He looked surprised at Yuuri who just undid his buttons with a content smile on his face. Viktor wondered briefly if he should stop Yuuris hands. Maybe the alcohol affected Yuuri more than expected? If that was the case, then he would definitely regret this later.

But then there were Yuuris hot lips on his, and on his collarbone and bit gently into his skin and sucked greedy, leaving bright red marks on his skin, and every rational thought was drawn out of his mind. Yuuri placed little pecks on his chest, but as his hand thoughtlessly stroked his nipple Viktor moaned loudly. Viktor felt his face heat up, but Yuuri only stopped for a couple of seconds to grin up to him before he carefully caressed his nipple again. Viktor bit his lip ad tried to ignore the tug in his lower region.

„Yuuri, ple-ase.“ he said, but mid sentence Yuuri twisted his nipple. Viktor saw bright flashes and he had to lose his eyes to not get swept away. He needed a couple of seconds to calm himself down before he could look at Yuuri again. He still kissed his chest, then he pulled Viktors top down, exposing Viktors bare, pale shoulder. Viktor shivered in the cold air. Yuuri bit gently into his shoulder, and whispered against his skin „Watch me.“

Viktor nodded absentmindedly. Yuuri pulled away and smiled at him, his eyes dark and sizzling, a dangerous gleam in them before he leaned down to place a soft kiss on Viktors lips. Then he kissed his way down, until he had to get down on his knees. Yuuri smiled up at him innocently as he sat between Viktors legs. Viktors heart leaped in his chest and he felt his heartbeat in his throat, on his tongue and fingertips.

Yuuri began to carefully and gently stroke his legs from his ankle, up to his calf up to his outer tights. Viktor wondered why it felt so good just when Yuuri touched him. „Yuuri, what-“ Suddenly Yuuri pinched him, but Viktor tried to pull himself together. „There's no need to rush, we can take our time.“ Viktor said, his eyes tightly shut, because he knew the sight of Yuuri would affect his thinking.

„Look at me.“

Viktor slowly opened his eyes and looked at Yuuri, placed between his legs and looking up at him with a serious expression. „I'm not going to run away anymore. And I want to do this. For-“ Yuuri finally got enough decency to blush and avert his gaze. „For a really long time. So please.“ Viktors heart squeezed and he leaned down to give Yuuri a gentle kiss on his forehead. „Okay.“ he replied with a slight smile.

 

 

Viktor saw bright flashes of light before his closed eyes, and he felt his body go weak and embarrassingly responsive, his moans so loud that he was scared they would echo still the next day in the rink.

He couldn't distinguish anymore if he shivered from the cold air or from Yuuris hot mouth wrapped around him and the waves of pleasure he drowned in. It was strange how Yuuri had all these hidden talents, and this was certainly one of them. He easily made Viktor come apart beneath him, like he just needed to pull on a thread that held Viktor together.

Viktor was a weak, _weak_ man, and he never wanted anything so desperately in his life.

Yuuri gently pushed Viktors inner tights apart when Viktor was to caught up in his pleasure to realize that he had closed them. Sometimes he pinched in the firm flesh of his tights, and each time it left Viktor shuddering. „Fuck.“ Viktor breathed out as Yuuri flicked the tip with his tongue, the steady flow of precome making it gradually easier to move for Yuuri. It took all his strength not to thrust into Yuuris mouth, to grab his hair and pull him down until his cock reached the back of his throat.

His legs were shaking and he clutched one hand into Yuuris hair. Alone by the sounds Yuuri made he felt on edge. And strangely, Yuuri seemed to enjoy it as much as he did. When Viktor shot a quick glance down at Yuuri his face was red and he had a blissed out expression on his face. As Viktor let out a particular loud moan he felt Yuuris mouth form a smile and it made Viktor breathless. He felt like he could come any second. The only thoughts left in his shattered brain were that he loved Yuuri to death.

When Viktor almost tipped over the edge, gripping Yuuris hair tightly and moaning his name, Yuuri suddenly drew back. Viktor gasped at the lost of his warm, lovely mouth, his world sliding in and out of focus, mixing everything to a blur. Then he looked down at Yuuri, still panting. Viktor couldn't think. He only knew that his dick was aching at the sight of Yuuris wet, red lips and his disheveled hair. Yuuri seductively smiled up at him, his voice sweet and innocent.

„Didn't I told you to watch me?“

Viktor nodded desperately and let out a small whimper as Yuuri swallowed Viktors length. Yuuri seemed to be even more eager now, trying to take him deeper as he relaxed his throat. Viktor groaned in surprise as his tip hit the back of Yuuris throat and then went even deeper. Before he could recollect himself Yuuri flexed his throat and squeezed, bobbing his head in a rhythm that drove all thoughts out of Viktors mind. And then Yuuri looked up at him, his pupils blown wide and innocent, as if he wanted to ask „Is this good?“ while his red lips were wrapped around his dick.

Viktor almost tipped over the edge, which was embarrassingly fast, and he thought about looking away. But he couldn't. Not when Yuuri looked like that.

So Viktor trembled, moaned loudly and gripped Yuuris hair and stuttered. „Y-yuuri, I'm gonna...“ to which Yuuri just responded with an encouraging hum. He felt the vibration in his whole body, and he couldn't help but to thrust sharp into Yuuris mouth, once, twice, until he came.

When he came down from his orgasm he looked at Yuuri as he pulled away with a wet sound. Yuuri put his fingers carefully to his throat, and then looked up at Viktor, a small, nervous smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Viktor leaned down and gently stroked Yuuris jaw. „Yuuri, I'm sorry I was too forceful. You didn't need to…“ he said, but Yuuri smiled softly at him and leaned up to his face to give him a peck on the lips.

„I said I wanted this right?“ he asked, his voice hoarse, and Viktor felt his dick throb.

„I could do it too, you know. For you.“ he suggested, cupping Yuuris face with one hand.

„No, I-I think I don't want that.“ he answered, his face blushing harder and averting his gaze. Viktor felt his heart beat against his ribage. His mouth got dry in anticipation.

„That's okay, we can- umm. Which one do you prefer?“ he managed to get out. Yuuri looked at him confused, but then his eyes widened and he strongly shook his head. „No, I didn't think about that, I just, uhm...“ he trailed off, covering his face in his hands. Viktor looked at him, brows furrowed.

„There...“ Yuuri exhaled. „There is nothing for you to take care of. Anymore.“ he said, muffled by his hands. Viktor couldn't repress the smile that started to form on his face and he gently touched Yuuris shoulder. „Yuuri, did you-“ Suddenly Yuuri looked up, his face a deeper red Viktor had ever seen. „Don't say it! It's so embarrassing, I feel like a teenager.“ He said and buried his face again in his hands.  
  
Viktor smiled and leaned down until he was directly beside Yuuris ear. „I think the Eros costume is now even sexier.“ he said in a teasing, seductive tone, and Yuuri looked up to flick his forehead.

 

  
  
By the time they were done with showering ans changing it was already 3am. When they stepped out of the rink they locked the door like responsible adults and not like two people who got drunk at the rink and participated in some 'adult activities'.  
  
The air was now even colder and the city was deserted and laid dark before them. And as Viktor held Yuuris hand in complete silence until they got home, Viktor and Yuuri felt that now their life together really began.  
  
When Viktor opened the door to their apartment both of them tried to be as quiet as possible to not wake Makkachin. Yuuri fell completely exhausted and with his coat still on into bed and let out a sigh. Because they didn't close the curtains during the day, the streetlights were shining mellow light into the bedroom, and only the vague forms of the furniture were visible. That resulted in Viktor nearly tripping over a toy from Makkachin, and Yuuri let out a soft laughter.  
  
Viktor fell besides Yuuri on the bed and sank into the soft cushion. He turned to face Yuuri and tugged some loose strands of his hair carefully behind his ear and took his glasses off.  
  
„Yuuri, you have to get changed.“  
  
Yuuri only hummed sleepy with closed eyes and seemed to revel in Viktors touch. Viktors heart felt like it was overflowing with happiness and devotion and love. Yuuri slowly opened his eyes and smiled softly at him. Then he cupped Viktors face, stroking the skin in a gentle motion which made Viktors heart melt.   
  
„Who did you practice that with?“ he asked in a teasing tone. Yuuris smile widened and he ran his fingers in slow, lazy movements through Viktors hair.  
  
„With your posters of course.“ Viktor chuckled at the thought.  
  
„All this from posters? Should I be jealous?“ Yuuri pulled Viktor close to place a soft kiss on his lips.  
  
„No. But maybe you should be jealous of Phichit, because with him I practiced too.“  
  
„Yuuri, please, you're breaking my heart.“  
  
Yuuri chuckled and kissed him again. „It was a joke. He did suggest it though.“ Viktor flicked Yuuris forehead and Yuuri laughed a little louder than he should at this hour. „Okay I'll stop!“ Viktor leaned forward to kiss his forehead and then he got up, grabbing his phone.  
  
„I'll let Yakov know that were taking a day off.“ he said, alraedy typing.  
  
„Yakov will not be very happy when we take two days off.“ Yuuri said smiling while taking off his clothes and walking to the dresser to find some comfy clothes.   
  
Viktor couldn't help but drink in the sight of Yuuri in underwear, and he felt a twinge in his lower regions. He gulped. „Viktor?“ Yuuri asked amused, noticing the way he looked at his body.  
  
„I would really appreciate if you wouldn't put clothes on.“  
  
„And I would really appreciate if you would look me in the eyes.“ Yuuri laughed. „But fine, if that's what you want...“ he said, and Viktor felt his heart beat fast as Yuuri laid into the bed just clothed in boxer briefs that left very little to the imagination.  
  
Viktor felt the heat rise in his face and he clumsily discarded his clothes in the dark, which made Yuuri laugh in a low voice. Then he slipped under the covers and snuggled up against Yuuris collarbone and wrapped his cold hands around Yuuri. Yuuri hissed because of the cold and his back arched which made Viktor press a smile into Yuuris exposed skin, and he felt Yuuris shoulder shiver from laughter under his palm. Then Viktor placed little, soft pecks on Yuuris face and neck, and Yuuri giggling in delight was like music.  
  
„I love you too.“ was the last thing he heard as he drifted off to sleep, and he thought he never needed anything else as long as Yuuri just would always say those words and mean them.  
  


  
  
The sunlight shone brightly through the window and woke Viktor up. He sighed, but then noticed the warm body he was pressed against, and he couldn't control his smile. He pulled away to lay his head next to Yuuri, and he felt his heart squeeze painfully in his chest as he remembered that Yuuri told him he loved him. Yuuri loved him.  
  
Viktor felt overwhelmed with joy. He gently tugged a loose strand of hair behind Yuuris ear, and his smile widened as Yuuri sighed like he enjoyed the touch. Viktor stroked across Yuuris pale, perfect skin and drank in the sight of Yuuris long, dark lashes and his full lips.  
  
Suddenly he was reminded of those lips, red and plump and hot around his cock, and he felt heat rise in the pit of his gut. He still couldn't believe that Yuuri did that, and there was still guilt lingering inside him because he didn't reciprocate the favor. He definitely had to change that. But now he had to get those pictures out of his had, so he picked up his phone and glanced at the time. It wasn't too late to go to the rink and train a bit, but Viktor just didn't want to leave the warm bed.  
  
He read the text from Yakov. „VIKTOR I KNOW YOU WERE AT THE RINK AGAIN! YOU SHOULD LEAVE IVAN AND KATSUKI ALONE! You know he always shares the vodka he gets from you with me, right?"  
  
Viktor rolled his eyes but smiled softly.   
  
Then he read Yurios text.  
  
„God dammit Viktor can't you fucking control yourself? At least PICK UP YOUR TRASH INSTEAD LETTING REAL SKATERS STUMBLE ON IT!“ Viktor snorted at the similarities between Yakov and Yurio.   
  
Then he felt Yuuri move beside him and he glanced down to him. After a couple of seconds of disorientation he looked up to Viktor with sleepy, soft eyes and an even softer smile that made Viktors heart melt.  
  
„Morning. What are you doing?“ he asked, rubbing his eyes like a kid. Viktor fully slid back under the covers and pressed a kiss to Yuuris forehead. „Morning, solunshka. I was just reminded of that amazing thing you did yesterday.“ he said in a teasing voice. „Oh, you mean the skating? Yeah, that was really fun.“ Yuuri said, not in the least affected, and intertwined his own hand with Viktors.  
  
„Yuuri!“ Viktor whined, and Yuuri only chuckled before he leaned close to Viktors ear and whispered seductively, „If you think that was amazing then you will be overwhelmed by the things yet to come.“ Viktor felt a warm shiver run down his spine.  
  
„Can you give examples?“  
  
„You.“ he answered in a low, husky voice, and if it weren't such a bad pun then maybe Viktor would have blushed.  
  
„God Yuuri, you're killing me.“ he said theatrically, covering his eyes with his hands and Yuuri giggled. Then he gently caressed Viktors face, his lips and his hair, and Viktor reveled in Yuuris touch. Suddenly, he said in an absentminded voice, like he was talking to himself „I want to do you.“ and Viktors heart stopped for a second before it began to beat twice as fast.  
  
„What?“ he asked, curiously glancing at Yuuri. He looked almost surprised that he said something like that. „I said that I want to do you, or top you, or, um...“ he said nervously. „Or, actually it would probably be better when you would-“ Viktor stilled him with a soft and tender kiss and then gently cupped Yuuris face.  
  
„I'd love to. I'm fine with anything as long as it's with you.“  
  
Yuuri blinked in surprise before a smirk appeared on his face. Then he said playfully „Don't provoke me too much, I have way more stamina than you.“ Viktor felt his cheeks heat up under Yuuris half-lidded gaze, and he hummed in delight.  
  
„Maybe we should try it out right now?“   
  
„I really like the idea. But don't take your eyes of me.“  
  
Viktor smiled back at him and he thought _I never could even if I wanted to._

 

 

 

 

So that was the last chapter!

I really hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it


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